Arsinos News
A place for all map game news and events. Like in the old wiki. Add latest news to the newest section of the page at the top ('''Page was a mess, so previous stories have been moved to Past News) Road to Zoio *Amun-Seth and Pullonia accepted into United Nations *New Salopian missionaries are said to be responsible for teh increase in violence against the Tacovian population of the falkland islands. *Logging in eastern UP continues dispite warnings and increasing policing. The loggers are said to be armed and grouchy. *Across the world, people are talking about the events of King Masher's fall. Rumours have it that the Avengers have formed in Arsinos... *Dalania announce that The Lake of Fallen Angels is an official memorial site to international leaders. This site will be open to the public, but will have military security. **Sethos requests a statue of Buffy to honor her sacrafice in the Fellowship. * The war criminal Masher, who Sethos decided to spare, is placed into a mortal human body once again by Sethos' advanced technology. Powerless, the prisoner is moved to a top security prison in the Spire, a new city being built in Amun-Seth. Many of the Sethians believe that Masher is a God, and his death could cause an uproar among the people, even though they see him for what he is - an evil genius. *The conflict between the CIS and USP is declared over when USP withdraws. *The Table is handed to the UN by the USP. *After belligerent protesting from other nations, USP has finally pulled out of Kaneland and given up The Table to the UN. For the first time in ages, Arsinos seems to have achieved world peace. *AAC president Buffy The Vampire Slayer dies while battling Masher. Riots spark up in AAC from factions that didn't support the governments decision to send her in to battle, and those that supported Masher. *The fall of a titan! King Masher is defeated! Sethos rallies the Steel Tide as sentient machines back in his country and begins the long process of rebuilding his nation. *Technotoad is smothered to death on the frontlines by Janice, ex-ruler of Lexilo. *Thanks to a rogue AAC spy, King Masher has learned the location of Sethos in USP. For supporting the rebels, he launches his invasion of USP early and attacks in what promises to be a pretty huge fight. He is unaware of the Fellowship's plan, however. Sethos prepares the nations for war by providing military intel and electronic upgrades that will assist the defenders, and continues preparing the virus for King Masher. *Sethos, Steel Tide rebel leader, organises a meeting of world leaders to discuss King Masher's ambitions. He begins assisting USP with preparing defenses for the inevitable Steel Tide invasion from DB. This leads to the formation of The Fellowship Of The Arse-Stick. *A space pod crashes in DB. Out of it comes Janice - ex queen of Lexilo. She has come for techno toad. Who she affectionally refers to as her "little toodles!" *Dalanian military scientists have begun the development and production of combat drones, to be used (potentially) in the place of conventional foot soldiers. *Sethos arrives at Vettin with his gang of Steel Tide rebels. He makes an urgent request that the UN meet with him in top secret ASAP regarding a matter of potential global catastrophy. As a show of good faith, he hands control of his aircraft carrier, The Reverend, to USP. *USP announces development of an anti WMD system *Treaty of Milk and Cereal between USP and SE. Allowing SE bases and troops to be stationed in the USP. Some SE aircraft carriers will also be built in USP ports which have the space. *Dalania have begun to develop high-range, high-impact, non-nuclear EMP weapons, with the intention of disabling large scale systems with minimal risk. *King Masher pulls the Steel Tide out of Dalania after an appeasement is made. *public announcement: pullonia has begun to process of builiding a warriors palace with 20 decorative WMDs , 100 decorative tanks and 10 decorative aircraft carriers *Buffy has gone on record to compare Pullonia to the retarded toddler of Arsinos. *the people in pullonia are all bannaed from real relationships and must shag anyone and everyone, they are genetically engineered to become pregnant 1000% easier and so pregnancy always produces 5 children at a time, there is also genetic changes so they age twice as fastdpole. **King Masher: 'Nobody cares about you scabby people, we will harvest you again soon.' **king masher, are you aware that this nation is on your side you retard...ole. ***King Masher: 'You are nothing. You will be assimilated.' ***bored of your shit masher *Pullonia makes a comeback. *Mr.T authorises an expeditionary blimp fleet lead by RNAS Urpet to move south of Sarluka to defend North Novak and put troops on the ground which can occupy Sarluka for their own safety. MEanwhile RNAS Isimzia is stationed on the border and RNAS Taldraza is sent to the northeast for unspecified reasons linked to the internal conflict. In Isimzia the Church of Lunacy has won favour over the communists who go into hiding. *2nd ABU report ''' *Dog Bollock invades western Dalania with the intention of harvesting for biomass. *King Masher publically announces the identity of the rebel leader, a machine named Sethos, and intends to find and crush this uprising quickly and swiftly. He issues a bounty on Sethos' head. Following this, the rebels take control of a Steel Tide aircraft carrier, renaming it The Reverend, and set sail for the Sea of Mermaids where King Masher will be too far to reach them. *At the statue of Rebecca Black in Shrewsbury expats and sympathisers light candels and pay their respects. In the outskirts of Shrewsbury gunshots are heard, which turns out to be Novak expats at eachothers throats being on the opposite sides of the divide in their homeland. The chasm has also lead to an insider outing one of the spy-rings that was set up in Shrewsbury during the occupation. *Steel Tide naval patrols increase in the Whargarbl Sea, with small fleets patrolling the borders of Dog Bollock up and down. King Masher has returned to the Steel Tower, as has the Technotoad. *Vigils are being held in Lotiripol as the govt finaly admits Blacks death. Mr.T says "for the good of Randocracy we must stay strong and remember that Friday shall come again!" *Lunatic militant leaders try to intimidate the Brotherhood of Gabranth by saying Lupinis will intervene in Novak, in response Lupinis leader Moonmoon who was recently released into Lotiripol from captive in the palace has been kidnapped by the BOG in response with his safety being "dependant on the non-intervention of Lupinis" *Crisis in Novak As sectarian violence intensifies, the situation is made worse by news of Rebecca Blacks death in the Xehopi hospital, confirmed by Taylor Swift and denied by interim leader of Novak General Mr.T. The centre and south remains patriotic and loyal to her government, though in the North Gabranthian and Liberal factions have formed. In the west Lunatic and Communist factions have emerged and in the East the problem is not so much rebellion as it is violence between members of the Lunatic church and the Brotherhood of Gabranth. * *The confederacy of Independent States is formed for mutual defence. *United Provinces has a hissy fit and the Spiderpig union attacks peaceful kaneland. *Kaneland launches missiles at Big Brother House after United Provinces attempts to rienstate Rebecca Black. *AAC begins reconstruction of Oil Rigs in West Portas Ocean in an attempt to get its economy back on track after the ending of the war of the table. The Table is turning *The Steel Tide Rebellion starts after King Masher loses control of a small number of his army, being distracted by the War of the Table. He is apparently pretty pissed off and blames the Technotoad. *Shaderian/SE forces retreat. Land Forces in Fort Vegas go scorched land policy where it is possible and a few rogue Shaderian terrorists stay behind to cause havoc. *AAC sign a deal with the devil and ask DB for help. In exchange for a foothold in a ruined deftonesville DB advance on the Shaderian/SE forces with their aircraft carriers and Kiel based airforce. *TABLE GOES MISSING FROM THE WRECKAGE. *Huge battle ensues, Deftonesville is practically levelled by another round of Shaderian ICBM's. *Ship carrying the table is destroyed by flying unicorn cats along with several carriers being destroyed or badly damaged. *Away from the festivities of Toastervision the Technotoad is spotted once again, this time near Madrid. He has again disappeared from sight, however. Tracks have revealed he has returned to Dog Bollock borders. *Rumours are spreading that the Technotoad is cheating on King Masher and is having inappropriate relationships with a Shaderian Tadpole.s S***. **King Masher: 'Get your cybernetic ass back to Kiel and oversee the harvest of the island. You don't even have genitals. Silly toad.' The rumours were, indeed, true. *The pirates have arrived in Shaderia and are eager to strech ther legs after a long voyage. Captain Jack Sparrow is looking for King Solomon after devising a way to steal his S***. **Solomon, Countessa Tamik, Baron Samedi and a small contingent of castle guards leave to confront these hapless pirates, planning to attack during the night, they arrange for darklings to be provided once they near the coast. **A few cannon rounds ought to take care of those pesky darklings (whatever they might be). *Shaderia launches ICBM's at coordinates at 4.3,6.8 to try and destroy the bridge to Fort Vegas. *GlenAgainBeginAgain is sent from Shaderia to fight for the table, some planes have been removed in order to make room for supplies which will be distributed amongst the shaderian vessels. ABU Newsfeed ticker broadcast from Loveshack: Rail to Rio completed from zoio, Xehopi-madrid rail nearing completion. Rio airport is operational and landland intl' is in final stages. Shaderian and Aacese airports heavily affected by Table war. DB completes its Adolf Airbase on the site of former Kiel. SE and USP bases are nearing completion. UN position on future of Fusonia is still cloudy, in the meantime the UNEC has been tasked with bringing Dominoes Pizza to justice. UP still requires 3 votes for UN entry. Carriers Jesse Pinkman, Glenagainbeginagain and an un-named USP airborne carrier are ready for battle. In economic news, oil production of SE and USP increases in West Portas and Loveless ocean. Concerns are arising about how well protected the USP rigs are in light of the strikes on the East Portas rigs. AAC begins major efforts to bring its damaged rigs back online. The western hemisphere suffers greatly as a result of the war of the table, particularly the AAC and Shaderia travel to which is suspended from various countries, especially the AAC where the bulk of the conflict is taking place. With troops on their soil and travel dwindling AAC economy is at a standstill, Shaderias is also slowing due to the massive diversion of resources to sustain such a war. Detailed update on war of the table to follow. More importantly, stay tuned for Toastervision 12!!! *Taking the initiative, Shaderia launch some MIRV's at the AAC airbase in Deftonesville and deploy Sacrenoir the Death Knight and Mortimer Goth the Necromancer in Fort Vegas to better organise the ground troops. **AAC responds by sending ICBM's to Oasis. *After harassing the locals and stealig their weed the pirates set off for Shaderia for more looting and to steal Solomon's S***. *The pirates attack DPRSJ while AAC appears to be engaged in the war of the table. *A recent opinion poll suggests that Shaderia has the lowest personal hygine of any nation. Kane industries sends a few crates of toothpaste samples but it is rumoured to be addictive. *kaneland board of health is disbanded after angry citizens on mobility scooters burn down the ministry of health after the controversial policy of reccommending to citizens that they eat 5 fruit/ veg per day. *Kane lands a leading role in the popular video game series Conquer and Command where he will play the hero who abuses his people to get S*** done for some kind of mystical purpose or something. *Shaderia launches ICBM's to 4.2, 6.8 in order to stop AAC land forces from Don Bronco reaching the occupied zone so easily. Stealth Jets are also being dispatched to send care packages of ammunition, medicine and food rations to the footsoldiers. *AAC airborne carrier Air Force 7 is sunk in the war of the table. Shaderia now has intelligence as to the location of the table. As such, nobody is allowed in or out of the ship carrying the table, and the the entire AAC navy and airforce focuses solely on defending the table. *The Technotoad was spotted briefly in Dalania recently. He has since disappeared. *The newly formed Union of the Spiderpig (USP) increases funding towards Oil rigs in West Portas in an effort to increase supply and fix the global economy. *King Masher creates the Technotoad to be a general to his army. *Noel Flies to the Falklands *Spanish speaking protestors from the off world planet of Argenitina demand the return of the falkland islands from Salopia as this was the birthplace of the famous spanish prophet Saint Taco and was brutally killed when offering drunken Salopian sailers a cup of water. Meanwhile a small group of missionaries from New Salopia have arrived on the Falkland islands and are attempting to pursuade the islanders to become part of New Salopia. There is potential for a diplomatic row if there is a crackdown on the protestors or missionaries. *Shaderian carrier Krakos is sunk in the War of the Table. More carriers are completed on both sides. Shaderia bombs and occupies Fort Vegasopolis. *Heisenberg sends an armed response team, contracted from Kanish immigrants and Pirates, to find wherever the hell this "Hellgate" that Bragg spoke of is. *"You killed Aunt Sarah, you son of a bitch, now you're going to pay!" Jackie sends this video to Heisenberg. It depicts Jackie killing Heisenburg's distributor known by the name of Bragg. *Members of the Estacado family seem to be coming down with an unknown sickness. Doctors suspect it could be ricin poisoning. *The leader of Shaderia's main crime syndicate, Jackie Estacado, is very unhappy with Heisenberg's attempts to sell drugs on Shaderian soil, Jackie is old school mafiosa and will not tolerate this drug running from rivals and especially from his own men. The Estacado Family will launch merciless and brutal attacks should any drug runners be caught on Shaderian ground. Several mutilated corpses have already been discovered in underground dens. *King Masher begins the harvest of Los Camp and the whole island, intending to leave it nothing but a desolate wasteland as usual. *The pirates retreat from the Falkland Islands with only a few sheep after being repelled by the forces defending this islands. The pirates go off in search of easier prey. *The mass evacuation leaves Los Camp largely deserted, though a large number of Shaderian and SE troops still remain there. They seek to take advantage of the island for as long as they can before the Steel Tide arrive. Captured AAC generals and "citizens of interest" have been flown to Shaderia as prisoners of war. Shaderia has already deduced that the table must be on one of nine naval vessel and is close to taking it for themselves. *After having occupied the island city of Los Camp for the past few days, and using it as refueling station for allied aircraft, Shaderian troops offer to aid in the evacuation of AAC civilians. Despite the war Shaderia are not evil and will not allow innocent people to be harvested by King Masher. Modrid gets a bollocking *The pirates know who Heisenberg really is and recommend that he keeps out of their turf or William Brookes might need a new chemistry teacher. *Solarchapel had already been evacuated several days before, resulting in small amounts of deaths to what there could have been. However, Solarchapel was the multi-cultural beacon of Shaderia and quite possibly the world, playing host to numerous religious and cultural monuments of significance. Many people throughout the map, who had some form of culture based there, become irritated with the AAC. **Though this doesn't mean they support Shaderia either, they too have committed atrocities. *Heisenberg contracts pirates to sell meth overseas and on the far side of the continent in places such as Kiel, Dalania, Shaderia and Stahl Empire. If the Pirates don't return the majority of the profit to Heisenberg, his spies and employees will take them out in the most brutal ways possible. *AAC sends 6 more ICBMs to Solarchapel. *The cities Kiel and Pleasure Town are completely stripped for carrier parts. In Pleasure Town's place, King Masher's Steel Palace rises. *The 2nd UNEC takes over made up of Councillor Fring, Councillor Obushma and Councillor Krushev *After the recent naval defeat against DB the Stahl Federation's Reichstag vote to increase miltary spending on the navy in an effort to return the navy to its former strength from when Stahl was an empire. *Kane industries is given control of Kaneland in a contract to improve industrial production and build a modern and efficient state. Start the chainsaws and the drils and let the exploitation begin. *The forges in Dog Bollock fire on full blast as the harvested biomass is converted into new Steel Tide forces and put towards the construction of all carriers and a new airbase is announced in former-Kiel in order to concentrate on a more powerful robotic air force. The harvest of Kiel fuels the continued construction of the army. King Masher sits in his palace, quite giddy. Poisonous air pollution from the forges threatens to drift over into the Wharrgarbl Sea. *The table is moved onto an AAC ship, part of a huge naval fleet, ready to do battle in both the sea and the skies. A very brutal/bloody battle ensues. *AAC fires more ICBMs at Shaderia, this time aimed at Talkeenta. AAC attempts to attack Shderian forces at Los Camp by using a trident formation, with forces heading from Paramoria via the Channel of Last Hope, alongside the forces heading via Wrgbl sea (headed by Nick Fury), alongside the forces that were already in the Fozamese channel doing pretty much what they were anyway, the aim being to corner certain pockets of the Shaderian navy and either take them out or force a retreat. The air force also bombs the crap out of Shaderia forces both on land and at sea, while simultaneously trying to shoot Shaderian planes out of the sky. *Despite past differences and hostility. UP and Stahl unite forming "The Union of the Spider-pig" (USP) *Remaining former Lexilolian states join UP in response to unease around the world. *After Kiel suffers dramatically at the hands of DB, Stahl offers them the land in exchange for peaceful relations. Stahl forces leave the island along with the last Stahlian aircraft carrier. DB prepares to harvest Kiel. *AAC supercarrier Nick Fury arrives in Paramoria, though most Shaderian forces are sunk or have fled. But this diversion shall buy Shaderia precious time. Nick Fury heads back towards the fozamese channel. *SE sends mobile fighter launchers to stahl so they can re-enforce kiel and gain a slight advantage in the air *The noble AC GlenAgain is sunk near western AAC. GlenAgain BeginAgain shall be built in his honour. AAC aircraft carriers Agent Coulson and Iron Man are sunk trying to defend the table. HMS Executioner flees from western AAC. *King Masher commands the Steel Tide to make landfall upon the island near Kiel and begin harvesting it, both Stahl's and AAC's controlled area. In for a penny, in for a pound. *Environmentalists arrive in Mordrid and set up an eco friendly tree planting centre. Lets give the forest a hand man and like plant some trees and S***. *The Steel Tide pulls out of Modrid after all harvestable biomass is scorched, making King Masher lose interest. Instead, the carriers and naval fleets are diverted to Kiel to blockade Stahl and the ground and air troops, along with the king himself, return to Dog Bollock. *Shaderian aircraftcarrier GlenAgain along with the HMS Executioner attack Paramoria. Several planes take advantage of the war to destroy AAC oil rigs. *Modrid is evactuated where it can be and scortched earth policy is begun *Advert: Are you tired of thieves stealing your property. Do you wish there was a safe place to store your valuables. Look no further than Holiday island holdings Safe Deposit boxes. Now available in table dimensions. Just quote "protect my stash" to our customer care advisor and your will never have to worry about theft again. And that's a promise* *King Masher splits his naval fleet in half - sending four carriers to intercept and sink the Stahl Federation's supercarrier, but leaving Bill and Ben behind to support the harvest of Modrid. Once the super carrier is sunk, the remaining forces shall be dealt with and the fleet will begin bombing Kiel as penance. Meanwhile in Modrid, King Masher leads the Steel Tide at a steady pace further west. Aerial bombing runs, supported by Bill and Ben, concentrate and the resistance's airbourne carriers in an attempt to bring them down before the Tide reaches them. *AAC's entire army, navy and air force prepare to forcibly eject the Shaderian sum from the Fozamese channel and defend the table at al costs. This war shall be bloody and brutal. *The Stahl Federation uses forces including the supercarrier Shield deployed in Kiel to invade northern DB in the area that was once Pullonia. *Shaderian forces, led by Marquise de Aversa and Alistaire Crue, attack the island where the table is being held. They arrive onboard aircraft carrier Krakos. SE forces also assist in the attack. SE's aircraft carrier HMS executioner leaves for Shaderia to help protect it from the anticipated AAC attack. *The Stahl Federation sends troops to fight DB in Modrid sending roughly half of available forces via land. The other half are sent to Kiel for as of this moment an unknown reason. *Kane retires to the holiday island to set up an offshire tax haven and signs a ceasfire aggreement with Stahl in return for a 20% loss of the southern territory. New Salopia declared an independent state and the rest of Kaneland reverts to a nomadic desert lifstyle. *Air power tips current Kane-Stahl war in Stahls favour. Segways buisiness is booming. *Steel Tide continues harvest of Modrid while the United Provinces receives support from other former-Lexilo states and a Mr.T led Novak-Lupinis force